50 things my minor in secondary education didn't teach me

1.       How to call students’ parents (and avoid letting them hear your knees shaking)

2.      How to deal with students who are distracted by your classroom’s leaky ceiling

3.      How to keep a straight face when your students say something ridiculous and slightly inappropriate

4.      How to control your anger at inanimate objects and technology when they don’t work when you need them most, and then how to (attempt to) fix them

5.      You need to be fiercely protective of your pens.

6.      How to make sure you get something resembling a normal night’s sleep

7.      How to accept that you’re officially an old person who has a difficult time going out and staying awake on Friday nights

8.      How to bite your tongue when a “that’s what she said” opportunity, or something else equally inappropriate, presents itself

9.      How to deal with not having time to pee all day

10.   How to dodge unwanted hugs

11.    Dress in layers or have a sweater/jacket on hand, because your classroom will rarely be an acceptable temperature.

12.   Boys enjoy drawing penises. Everywhere.

13.   Students expect you to be a bank: “Do you have change for a $20?”

14.   Your eating schedule will be greatly thrown off; some days you might eat 4 meals, and most days you will snack multiple times, all of these at odd hours.

15.   Keep granola bars or something similar in your desk for when you get hungry or for when a student does not have a lunch.

16.   The fact that a significant portion of your paycheck will go towards purchasing pencils for kids who don’t have them, tissues, hand sanitizer, colored pencils, tape, various other classroom supplies, and decorations to make your classroom look welcoming. And then the students will complain that you don’t have something else they need.

17.   How to find creative ways to keep a book interesting for yourself even after you’ve taught it a dozen times

18.   How to respond calmly when the 4^th child in a row asks you what page we’re on

19.   How to tactfully tell a girl her shirt is too revealing or a boy that he needs to pick up his pants

20.  When you expertly quote a book or play from memory for your students, they will be dazzled. Use this to your advantage.

21.   When people tell you, “I thought you were a student!” you should laugh as though it is not the 87^th time you’ve heard that.

22.  You will spend approximately 23% of your life making photocopies and stapling/3-hole punching them

23.  The importance of hydration

24.  How to create a rubric

25.  How to write helpful comments without spending 20 minutes on each essay.

26.  It is important to take care of yourself and have at least somewhat of a life outside of school in order to keep your sanity intact.

27.  How to get your students to stop giving you nicknames

28.  How to be realistic about how long your lessons are actually going to take

29.  Sometimes, your students will teach you just as much as you teach them.

30.  There will be days in the winter when you not only drive to school in the dark, but also don’t leave until at least 4:30 when it’s dark again. If you’re lucky, you’ll at least see some sunlight if you have a classroom with windows.

31.   For at least the first year, you’ll feel like there’s a good chance you’re screwing up kids’ lives.

32.  Sometimes, you need to grade kids on different scales, because they come to your classroom with different abilities and prior knowledge.

33.  And for some, a C or a B is a huge accomplishment, and you need to congratulate them accordingly.

34.  How to act happy even when all you want to do is crawl back into your bed, and convince your students that they should be happy too

35.  The importance of Friday afternoon “poetry club,” or whatever other departments might call it

36.  Suck up to the secretaries. It will come in handy at some point.

37.  Say hi to other teachers in the hallways, copy room, etc., and get to know as many people as you can.

38.  How to stay awake during epically boring staff meetings

39.  How to sneak in some grading during said meetings

40. How to “play the game” without actually buying into all of the stupid school politics

41.   You will tell yourself that you’ll be more organized next year. This’ll be true for about a month and a half.

42.  Teachers are probably the only people who take one or two fake sick days a year in order to catch up on their work.

43.  There will be times when you love teaching, but hate your job. It is important to remember the difference between the two.

44. How to scarf down a meal in 20 minutes

45.  How to come to terms with the fact that you will sometimes preach what you don’t practice (good organizational habits, writing outlines, etc.)

46. How to figure out which kids you can joke around with a little more than others

47.  School dances can be fun when you’re a chaperone, because you’re allowed to dance like a goof (the kids already think you’re weird, so who cares?).

48. How to tell when a kid is having a bad day, and then get them to feel comfortable enough to talk to you about it

49. Sometimes, students will say such awful things that you’ll need to sneak into the book room and have a good cry.

50.  And sometimes, they’ll write you the most wonderful letters that also make you cry. Save those letters; heck, hang them up on your wall for whenever you need a reminder as to why you’re doing this.

through a kid's eyes

This past Sunday I took my two little cousins, who are 8 and 10 years old, for an adventure in Boston. They’re from California and are in town for part of the summer. I figured that spending all this time away from home would get a little dull for them, and as their big cousin decided it was my duty to help remedy that. I’ve always loved kids; I was always the one playing with toddlers on the floor or talking to the older ones about school and playing games with them. Two years ago, my sister and I took these two cousins to the movies. We figured that would be fun, and a challenge that we could deal with. Since that time they have definitely matured, so I knew I could handle taking them to the city on my own. I absolutely adore spending time in Boston, and thought it would be a lot of fun for me to experience it in a new way.

As it turned out, experiencing Boston through the eyes of kids really was pretty great. I love their sharp eyes and their curiosity about the world. They noticed everything and wanted to talk to me about it, but understood when certain situations called for some discretion and tact. Our adventure began somewhere where there is an abundance of interesting characters: the T (the Red Line, to be specific). We also rode a couple of other trains later on in our travels. The boys were very concerned about people who didn’t follow the rules or etiquette—the woman clipping her fingernails, and the man who leaned against the doors which, as one of them pointed out, specifically said not to do just that. In the station, we walked by a guy with gauges in his ears (the biggest I’ve ever seen), and after we were out of earshot they made faces and commented on it to me. They asked me all about how the T works—what the different lines are, where they go, which one goes the farthest, etc. The older one was quite amused when my prediction that lots of people with suitcases would board at South Station came true, as though I’d just performed a neat little parlor trick. I’ve been riding the T for so long that it usually doesn’t hold too much excitement for me, other than observing some quirky characters and peering at what books people are reading. For them, it held exciting possibilities of destinations unknown, along with a roster of characters equal parts puzzling and fascinating. Later in the day, on the Green Line, the younger one asked me why his seat was a little different. I explained that that’s the spot that people are asked to give up if an elderly or disabled person gets on the train. A couple of stops later, two old and feeble people got on board, and before I could even notice, both boys promptly got out of their seats. Oy, I was so proud at that moment.

Our first stop in town (after the first of many potty breaks, of course), was the Aquarium. Once inside, we first checked out the newish ray and shark touch tank. This was like a dream come true for the boys. After we reviewed the rules for touching the creatures, they quickly plunged their arms into the tank, excited to not be restricted to just looking at everything through glass. The interactive experience with nature was their favorite part of the day. We probably spent a good 10 minutes there, with one of the boys determined not to leave until he finally got to touch one of the sharks. I didn’t mind not touching the animals myself, content to take photos of the kids and watch their joy. As we worked our way through the rest of the exhibits, the younger one commandeered my camera and took pictures of just about everything. He felt compelled to document all of the cool things that we saw. It wouldn’t be good enough to just have me take the pictures—he wanted to preserve the images through his own perspective. The older one enjoyed reading some of the facts about the animals and telling me about them. I of course was so excited to see this love of learning.

The day was filled with lots more great little moments. For example, when we were walking through Boston Common as the boys ate their slush, there was a rehearsal in progress for Shakespeare on the Common. After I explained what it was, the 8-year-old asked if we could watch a little. As an English teacher, I was only too happy to acquiesce. When the director was giving notes to the actors and having them try something again, my little cousin asked me, “Are they doing it wrong?” So I explained that in theater, you often want to try doing scenes in different ways to see what works. I also told him that I do theater. "You do THIS?" he asked incredulously. I laughed and responded that my shows aren't quite this big. After sitting there for probably a little over 5 minutes, I asked the boys if they wanted to go, but the younger one said he wanted to stay a little longer. It was cool to see him experiencing something that is so foreign to him and so outside his usual interests, and actually enjoying it. It’s not as though he could understand what was happening in the scene they were rehearsing, but I think being able to observe the inner workings of the production, plus seeing this stage full of actors in the middle of the park, was just so novel to him.

We then went to the Swan Boats, where the boys noticed that there was an older man working there who was listening to the Red Sox game and updating the score on a little whiteboard. They talked a little baseball with him, and I could see how pleased the man was to chat with these engaging kids. After the boat ride we headed for the Museum of Fine Arts and made a beeline for the mummies. We also wandered around some other galleries of ancient artifacts, which the boys found very interesting, especially the African weapons (but of course). We went through the galleries fairly quickly, children’s attention spans being what they are, but I didn’t mind. I can go to the MFA anytime, so this was their opportunity to see whatever caught their eyes.

It was quite the exhausting day (one of the kids fell asleep on the way home), but very fun. Both kids said thank you at least a dozen times (no joke) throughout the day, which was so so sweet. It was fun to be the cool older cousin for the day, and I managed to resist the urge to act too much like a mom. Yes, I was responsible for them and had to make sure they were safe and stayed in my sight, but mostly I was able to just go with the flow and enjoy hanging out with them. I really liked having the opportunity to have real conversations with them that lasted more than just two minutes, and we talked about all sorts of things: history, science, books, Boston, sports, etc.  And I got to see my city the way a kid sees it—with a sense of wonder, curiosity, and enthusiasm.

happiness & worth

Oh Forbes, you and your uppity attitudes. The other day you took one step too far when you decided to rank the unhappiest jobs in America: "These 6 professions have been ranked the least satisfying -- based on factors such as growth potential and compensation -- by the people who do them." And guess which one was #3? That's right, teaching.

Yeah, Forbes, because I definitely chose this career path for the big profits it promised me. I'm just so unhappy now that I've realized that I'll never make a whole lot of money.

People (generally) go into teaching because they are passionate about it. In my case, I wanted to share my love of literature and language with students. I also wanted to be a mentor to students, or at least someone they felt they could turn to and trust, because I was always lucky enough to have teachers like that. And if you've read this blog before, you know that I've been able to do both of these things. Am I as good at my job as I want to be? Absolutely not. Do I ever have bad days or weeks and wonder why the fuck I'm doing this? Of course. But then so many good things happen, both little and big, and I know that I've made the right choice. I have a job that challenges me and that is certainly never boring. I get to help shape these students during some very formative years in their lives, and I feel like, with at least a lot of them, I am making some sort of a difference. And that makes me feel fulfilled. I know that I want to keep doing this for years to come, that I will truly make a career out of it. And no, I don't plan on ever becoming an administrator/department head/principal. I guess Forbes would tell me that I lack ambition and that I must be dreadfully unhappy. However, the way I see it, my challenge is to become a better and better teacher every single year. Plus, each year I get a new crop of students to work with and help shape while they, in turn, help change my life too. Just because I won't be moving up in the ranks doesn't mean I will be stuck in some sort of a rut.

My parents told me that when I was attending Brandeis University, which is a good school and also very expensive, people questioned my choice. They asked, "Why is she going to Brandeis if she's just going to be a teacher?" My parents said that don't want to know who said it nor how many people. Just like Forbes, these people measured worth in money. I know, I know, the very nature of money is that it measures how much things are worth. But I believe that in order to live a fulfilling life, one must consider factors beyond that. I chose that school knowing full well that I would come out of it with a lot of debt. And yeah, it sucks to have to write a check every month for over $200, knowing that I'll be continuing to do so for quite some time. But you know what? It's managable, and I don't regret my decision one little bit. I had worked my ass off all my life and wanted the challenge of going to a great school. Brandeis certainly provided me with that. I wanted to become the best teacher I could possibly be, and I knew that this place would help me get on the right path. I had some really kick-ass professors, including the head of the Education Department who really helped me figure out my life. Furthermore, because the school is almost 50% Jewish, I found a community there that I really connected with. When I graduated, I didn't think about the debt--I thought about the amazing education I received, the unique experiences I had, the ways that my horizons had been expanded, and the incredible friends I had made.

I've talked to some of my students before about life choices. I remember a conversation I had with my seniors at the end of my first year of teaching. I told them to, above all, be happy. Yes, you need to make sure you have enough money to take care of yourself and your family. But you also need to be able to enjoy what you do. I don't care if it requires a master's degree or training in a tech program, just love it. One of my seniors this year is planning on being an electrician. Some years back I might have lamented her decision to not strive for more. But these days, I know that's the wrong attitude. This girl loves her field. She was actually one of the only girls in that tech program at the high school, and I admire her for going against the norm. I am proud of her for pursuing her dream.

My high school English teacher sent me an amazing video when I was in college, since she knew I wanted to be a teacher. I've included the link below, and encourage you all to watch it. It is called "What Teachers Make," by slam poet and former teacher Taylor Mali. It is incredible, and sums up my feelings better than I can do here.

Not too late to apologize

First, some humor:

After telling Student 1 to stop petting Student 2’s head, Student 2 said, “You have to pay to pet me—I’m like a petting zoo.”

 Student: “Nice reverse psychology.”
Me: “That wasn’t reverse psychology.”
Student: “It was for me.”

When passing out some papers to my honors class, a few of them started doing the wave. I told them this needed to end now, because otherwise they’d soon enough be tossing around a beach ball. About 15 seconds later, I turn around, and sure enough a student has pulled out a balloon, blown it up, and started hitting it across the room.

Okay, now for the sweet stuff:

Last year, my B period class was horrible. Especially since I was a new teacher, it was my worst nightmare. There were a handful of kids that were not exactly strangers to the administrators' offices, and I had the pleasure of having them all in one room. And it was a CP1 class, and those kids tend to be, overall, the least motivated of all the sophomores. I had a couple kids in there who did pretty much nothing all year. One in particular that I am writing about today was a smart ass, pain in the ass, "I don't care about anything" kind of kid. I tried to motivate him and reach out to him, and he nearly bit off my hand as he snapped at me not to give him a life speech. Needless to say, not one of my favorite people. He also was out of school for the end of the year and the beginning of this year because he got in trouble.

This year, my two office mates each have him in class (since he's taking junior English and retaking sophomore English), and they've told me that this kid is really turning his life around and redeeming himself. I will admit that I've been skeptical. After all, leopards don't usually change their spots. So imagine my surprise when today in the hallway, he asked if he could speak to me in my office. I asked him what's up (and he was surprised I remembered his name), and he said that he wanted to apologize for how disrespectful he was to me last year. I swear, you already could have knocked me over with a feather. He continued to say how it wasn't okay for him to act that way, and that this year he looks around in his classes and sees kids doing the same thing, and it bothers him.

I told the student that I really appreciated his words, and that it takes a big person to apologize like that. I put out my hand to shake his, and as he left he said, "Keep up the good work!" I was so incredibly touched by everything he said and the utter sincerity with which he said it. I very nearly started to cry. It was clear that my colleagues were right about him. He must have really had a wake-up call and done some soul-searching in order to get to this point. Just a year ago, he seemed like a kid on the fast track to nowhere. Today, I saw a man in front of me, someone who is now willing to learn from his mistakes and try to be a better person. I hope he keeps on this good path, because I am so very proud of him.

This isn't the first time that I've been surprised by someone like this. At the end of the last school year, a student wrote me a letter. Things with her had always been rocky--sometimes she was great in class, sometimes very very difficult. In her letter, she said she was sorry for giving me grief, and that she often takes out her anger at the wrong people. She went on to thank me and tell me that I'm a wonderful teacher. That letter is on my bulletin board in my office, and every now and then I glance at it and smile. Then, over the summer, a girl I knew in high school approached me. She had been a jerk to me back in the day, and over the past year she had been nannying for my little neighbor (which worried me). She came up to me and said she wanted to apologize for how mean she was in high school, and that it's really bothered her for a long time. My parents said she had been going through a 12-step program, part of which is making amends with people. I was shocked that she felt I was one of the people she felt the need to make amends with.

I've met a lot of shmucks in my life. And I'm sure that plenty of them will stay that way for life. But these people showed me that sometimes, people can recognize the error of their ways and truly change. Today was one of the best payments a teacher can get, the kind of day we store in our memories to save for a rainy day. Sometimes we have an effect on someone and we don't even realize it, and even think that we've failed in our goal to help that student. Then, out of the blue, they surprise you in the most wonderful way possible.

Putting the "happy" in "Happy New Year."

"Mexico's like the moon, dude."--Student

Dearest readers,

I must apologize for not writing for so long. The last couple of weeks before winter break were crazy stressful, and then my brain pretty much felt like mush over vacation. But, as it is a new year, I am resolving to be much better about posting, and will try to do so a couple times a week. This post is going to be a mish-mash of things: what's been going on at school, a review of this past year, and a look ahead.

Like I said, things at school have been kind of hectic, though not totally in a bad way. Some of my classes were recently very busy writing papers. My honors class had to write a 4-5 page paper using two dystopian novels. It was definitely a bigger challenge than they are used to. But I'm determined to whip them into shape. They're capable of good writing, but they have to be willing to put in the hard work, which some of them still don't quite seem to have figured out. Others, however, are making good strides, so that makes me super happy.

I also received a great shock right before break. Every single student in my F period CP1 class turned in their research papers (only two were late)! It was a frickin' Christmas miracle or something. I'm still struggling against the great amount of apathy in my other CP1 class, so it gave me hope to see that even though so many students in this class are failing due to not doing much/any work, they haven't given up on themselves. I'm desperately trying to send them the message that I'm not giving up on them, so hopefully the attitude is catching.

Oh, and I don't think I ever updated you on the fundraiser my students did. They raised over $100 for a local women's shelter. They were very excited about this, and I was very proud. It wasn't as much money as I was hoping for, but every little bit counts. I hope this showed them just how wonderful it can be to do something good for others, and that what we do in school really does have a connection to the "real world."

Okay, now for my little "year in review" and look to the future:

My New Year's resolution this year is the same as the one I made last year: to be happy. I don't like making little specific resolutions, because I always seem to be bad about keeping them, and then I just feel like crap about myself. And who wants to start off the year like that? So instead, I'm going with an overall attitude about/approach to life. I'm not saying that I'm always good at being happy. I probably cried this year more than I normally do. But a lot of that was due to the fact that I took chances and opened myself up to new experiences. And you know what? This past year actually ended up being really great. I'm certainly not the same person I was a year ago. These past two years, since I graduated college, I've definitely grown up a lot. I've always had a good sense of who I am, but being out of the safe student bubble has allowed that identity to become more fully fleshed out.

This year, I gained a new cousin (good lord he is such a little cutie), and had to say goodbye to a family member who had to move away due to failing health. That darned circle of life certainly giveth and taketh away. I was also asked to be a bridesmaid for one of my dearest friends, which was such an honor. She is the first of my friends to get engaged--just another reminder that we really have grown up! I survived my first year of school with a bit of emotional scarring, but a still unwavering resolve. And I was asked back for another year, and while this year continues to be challenging, I am much more confident in what I am doing. (My cousin once told me that it'd be a good three years before I stopped feeling like I'm fucking up kids' lives....well, I'm certainly feeling like I'm fucking up less of them this year. Yay, progress!) I had my heart broken a couple of times this year. It hurt like hell and made me feel almost as angsty as my students, but I've come out of those experiences a better person and with a better understanding of what I want and need out of life. I've also been learning to fight my instinctual shyness and to be open to meeting new people. Over the summer and now during the current season, I've been hanging out with my soccer teammates. When people ask if anyone wants to go to a bar for a team bonding session, I've learned to say yes, and have actually had fun and made some new friends. I've also been spending more time hanging out with some of my colleagues, and now truly feel like I am part of the group and can call them my friends. I also have been renewing my friendship with my best friend after a couple years where we weren't so great at keeping in touch, and being close again makes me so so happy. And last, but certainly not least, I flew the nest and got an apartment this year. So THAT'S what those wings are for! It's taking some getting used to, but I love this feeling of independence. I always used to be so scared of change, but lately it's been feeling so much more exciting.

I hope that this year I will continue to experience lots of wonderful things and fulfill my resolution. I want to be happy in both my personal and professional life, and I think I'm getting better at it. As Voltaire said, "I have decided to be happy, because it is good for my health."