Determination

I have this awesome student in one of my senior classes. She is a bright, kind, and conscientious young lady who is great at participating in class, and she led an awesome EdCafe last term. However, last term she also struggled with her writing, and ultimately earned a C+ for term 2. Her mom talked to me about how disappointed both of them were, but said her daughter was putting everything she had into the paper that was due today, determined to do well. The student had also conferenced with me the day before, and really worked to make sure she understood the revisions I was asking her to make.

They turned their papers in today, and since the conversation with the mother was still on my mind, I decided to grade the girl's paper while the students worked quietly on an assignment. Once school ended, I called her over and showed her the B+ grade she had earned. She bounced with happiness, saying with a big smile on her face that she was going to go tell her mom.

This is what happens when students don't give up, when they turn their disappointment into determination, when they choose to learn from their mistakes. The grade may not have been an A, but that's irrelevant--she had made such a great improvement over her last essay and demonstrated that she had truly learned something, so it was a victory.

Allowing kids to fail

A big part of why I do what I do is because I care about kids. I want to help them navigate the angst-filled journey that is adolescence, and to help them become good, productive, compassionate, responsible, conscientious global citizens. Sometimes though, I have to express my caring by being tough on them.

Many kids struggle to learn personal responsibility. When they don't meet with success in school, it is not uncommon to hear the blame be put on the teachers or some extenuating circumstances. Other times, they will try to bargain, claiming that they understand that they messed up, but if I bail them out this time they promise they'll do better the next time. There have been a couple of occasions, one recent, in which this has happened. The students tried to gain my sympathy, telling me that they knew they should have done all of those homework assignments or they knew they screwed up by not turning in that essay until two months after the fact, but that if they didn't pass my class for the term they would not be able to participate in a sport. One even tried to play the "You're an athlete too" card, hoping I'd empathize, but I told him I wasn't buying into that since I always kept up with my grades and never put myself in this situation. The other student tried telling me that she was sure I could get permission to change the grade (I got her essay on the day grades were finalized for the term), but I had to tell her that this was not the issue; the fact was that I wouldn't feel right about changing the grade. We have policies in place which the students are well aware of, and I had already stretched that for her in the first place due to special circumstances. I tried to be as gentle as I could, reminding her that she did well in the first term and I was sure she could get herself back on track for the rest of the year.

This student was distressed, appealing to a guidance counselor, but I knew I had to stay firm. In her eyes, I probably seem mean and cold-hearted, but I hope that someday she can understand that I do this not simply out of a sense of fairness, but because I care about the type of person she is going to become. So often these days we read about how kids struggle to stand up for themselves and solve their own problems because they are incredibly overprotected. Their parents are so afraid that their children will fail and feel badly about themselves that they make it impossible for the kids to fail or bail them out of any kind of trouble. While kids certainly need to know that their parents will be there for them and support them no matter what, protecting them in this way ultimately leaves them unable to cope with the difficult realities of life and prevents them from being able to pick themselves up after experiencing failure.

Making the problem worse are the teachers who also give kids an out. Though it is the responsibility of teachers to never give up on their students and to remain encouraging, as my cooperating teacher from my student teaching days told me, "Sometimes kids have to be allowed to fail." I have told struggling students before that the student-teacher relationship has to be a two-way street--I want so badly for them to succeed, but they have to want it for themselves, too. I'm there to give them the tools they need, but they have to use them. I'm not there to be a hand-holder. And if I make an exception like this that gives the student a way to avoid failing because of poor choices she made, I will only be setting a bad precedent. This way out becomes expected not only from me but from others as well.

One strategy that we could probably all try to emphasize more with kids (whether we are teachers or parents) is to remind them that just because they experience failure, that does not make them failures. Even though they may have made poor choices, there is an opportunity to recognize them and learn from them, and we have to help show them how to do that. Kids can't learn this if we bail them out of trouble every time, but hopefully will if we stay firm in our expectations of them while also showing them that we are positive about their abilities to meet those expectations if they make good choices.

Happy days

I am now a month into my new job, and the verdict is in: I am happy. Six months ago things were tough, but it was also scary to think about having to make a change. They say, "Better the devil you know than the devil you don't know," right? Plus, I loved so many of my students and it was tough to think of leaving them behind (I miss a number of them terribly). But even though this is just a half-year long-term sub position, I'm so happy to be where I am, and I think that, in the long run, this is going to be a positive transition year for me.

My students rock. I've dealt with a lot of student apathy in the past, and it's been frustrating, but most of these kids show up prepared and get their work done. In addition, discipline issues are almost non-existent. It's nice to feel less like a babysitter and more like a teacher. Thus far I have not had to write anyone up or send anyone out of class, and the students have been quite respectful of me. As a result, I feel that I have a much more positive energy in the classroom this year. Part of that is also a conscious effort on my part--I keep reminding myself to give praise more often and to encourage them to keep up the good work, as well as to tell them how excited I am to do an activity with them or to see the work they've done.

Yesterday, my senior classes did Socratic Circles. For those of you who aren't familiar, a Socratic Circle is, in a nutshell, a student-led discussion that they prep notes for ahead of time. These Socratic Circles came at the end of our unit "Genocide in Literature," which includes the memoir Night. The students discussed ideas about social responsibility and the importance/role of personal narratives, pulling not only from Night but also from the memoir A Long Way Gone (their summer reading book), plus articles and videos on the Rwandan and Bosnian genocides and the bystander effect. I invited the department head to come see what the kids were doing, and he came to my last block. Even though most of these students had never even heard of Socratic Circles before this year, they did a fantastic job. The department head told the students he was so impressed with how they synthesized information from all these different sources and then used it to formulate arguments (gotta love those great higher-order thinking skills!), as well as with how they were talking about issues that are still very relevant in our society today (for example: the students made connections with what's been happening in Syria). I was also quite pleased with them. One group earlier in the day didn't do as well, but I know that the next time they'll understand what to expect and will nail it. I told both classes that even though I'm not a morning person, I had been so excited to come to school that day and see them discuss all of their ideas. They chuckled at me, but I hope that positivity rubs off on them. They seemed to enjoy the experience, and asked me if we could do more of these. Hurray! One kid even wore a suit jacket and tie, because he felt it was a special occasion. I'm curious to see if he gets his buddies to join him next time. :)

There have been a couple of students I've been struggling with. One of them was turning in almost no work and had a bad attitude, and it was really frustrating. But after communicating with home, I got him to stay after school with me last week and we had a really good talk. This week he has been turning in assignments and participating a lot more in class. Today the students were rehearsing some scenes from the stage version of To Kill a Mockingbird, and he was really putting in a great effort. I high fived him at the end of class and told him how great it was that he was buckling down. Hopefully he sees that I believe in him and will stay on this better path.

This weekend I'll be reading a bunch of college essays. I helped them on their drafts and it seems like it should be a decent crop. Wish me luck!

STOP THE PRESSES: Learning can be fun!

Overheard on the staircase at school: "You're not a banana!"

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The other day, my CP2 class was playing a vocab review game, a combo of pictionary and charades (whichever option the students felt most comfortable with). Some of the students were really getting into it, which was surprising from a group that generally has no enthusiasm whatsoever. One student, who has not done any reading or work in ages, actually made vocab flashcards, and was a big participant in the review game. When we were wrapping the game up so we could move on to doing some reading, one girl said, "Can we keep playing? I know that we're learning, but this is fun!"

WOAH. Somebody call CNN and get Wolf Blitzer to break this shit to the public: Learning can be fun.

Seriously though, that was music to my ears. They were buying into what we were doing, even if a part of their brains told them that doing so was weird. This class has been such a struggle for me, that often I just worry about getting through it each day. But maybe we'll be able to do better than that. Maybe if I keep experimenting a little, we'll have more days like this.

Then yesterday, both of my CP1 classes had a great time doing Socratic circles. This was our first of the year. (For those of you who aren't familiar with Socratic circles, in a nutshell they are formal, student-driven discussions. The students are given the very open-ended questions ahead of time and must prepare notes with ideas, quotes from the text, real-world examples, questions, etc. Then they're split into two groups, and each group takes a turn in the inner circle discussing one of the questions, and I stay out of it as much as humanly possible. The outer circle then gives feedback on how the discussion went.) They need a bit of work on integrating their quotes into the discussion and staying a little more focused on the topic, but overall they did a good job. Some very interesting ideas were brought up, and they did really well with actually having a conversation, building on one another's points and sometimes providing counterarguments. They also did well in the outer circle, providing insightful feedback that will hopefully help them recognize how to improve their own discussion skills.

I told the students that we'll probably do at least one of these per unit. They all quickly voiced their approval, saying, "This was awesome!" Sigh. Such bliss. It was nice enough seeing how into the discussions they were--I even let them go over the original amount of time I had set for the discussions to last--so to know that they weren't engaged in what they were doing simply for the sake of getting a good grade was some seriously delicious icing on the cake. One student pointed out in his outer circle feedback that he noticed there was a lot of passion in the discussion he observed. Seeing that kind of passion is what makes me love this job. Yes, they had prepared notes, but these students did not sound like rehearsed robots saying something purely to impress me. I even heard a couple of kids who almost never utter a peep in class speak up multiple times to defend their ideas, and they didn't just say something simple to get their participation done and over with.

I like Socratic circles because they really challenge students to take ownership of what they're doing. After all, they are the ones running the discussions and giving feedback to one another. At the end of each class, I reminded that that the skills they practiced don't need to be reserved for Socratic circles, but rather can and should spill over to our everyday discussions. I told them that I don't want them to always be looking at me when they speak, but rather I want them to look at each other and really, truly listen to what everyone is saying and actually respond, because that's when the magic happens. And, dare I say, that's when it starts to be fun.

What's Goin' On?

Moment of the week:
I had a writing prompt on the board for my sophomores, which included FDR's quote, "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." When I asked one of the classes who said this, a student responded, "Dumbledore?"

And soon after that, the students saw an example of fear itself when a girl informed me that there was a gigantic spider right next to my head. I leapt off my stool, darted behind my desk, and nearly hyperventilated while a kid killed it for me. (At least he didn't eat it, like the kid I blogged about last year.....)



The last couple weeks have had some great moments, and also some struggles and frustrations. I'm tired and stressed right now (so glad I'm going to have a nice, home-cooked meal with my folks tonight), so I'm just going to bullet point to give you some of the highlights:

• My CP1 sophomores are pretty into Lord of the Flies. I feel like I'm doing a much better job of framing our discussions this year. When we started the book, I gave them our essential questions, along with the question that is guiding us for the entire year ("What drives us and makes us who we are?"). I'm really making sure to show how these questions and concepts relate to the real world, and so they generally have lots of ideas that they are eager to share. And most of them, even if they don't always answer the homework questions, are actually reading. I'm also trying to keep in mind that I don't have to talk about every single thing that happens in the book, but rather I just need to keep focused on our central themes and questions in order to avoid an information overload, as well as make our discussions more meaningful.
• My senior classes, on the other hand, have been fairly disappointing. They hate participating, they aren't good about doing their work, and they are just generally unenthusiastic. I'm sure part of it is that this course (all the senior classes are now 1/2 year electives) is new to me, and I'm still not totally comfortable with it, so that's probably coming through a bit. But there also just seems to be this laziness and apathy with a lot of them....I don't know if, because it's called an elective, that they think that it's not "real" English class, if they're uncomfortable having all of the levels mixed together, or if the senioritis is already in full swing, but already I have a lot of kids who are failing. And unlike in the past, they don't have the full year to pull themselves out of the hole. I've got to make phone calls to parents this week, and maybe start telling kids that they are required to stay after with me in the next week in order to come up with a game plan for getting their grades up.
• I have been trying a couple cool things with this elective (called "Criminal Minds in Literature"). As we've been doing Sherlock Holmes, I had them watch an episode of BBC's modern "Sherlock," which they responded quite well to, showed an example of a graphic novel version of one of the stories and had them create their own scenes, and also had them read a cool article on possible medical diagnoses for Holmes (Asperger's and bipolar disorder) in order to appeal to students who are more drawn to the sciences and psychology.
• One of my sophomores stayed after the other day for extra help. I didn't actually help him with an assignment, however. Basically, during the time he was here, he worked on organizing his binder, and the two of us talked about reading strategies he can employ, and talked about a game plan for improving his grades. Sometimes, it seems that even if you're not telling a kid something you haven't told all of them before, just talking something over step by step with them and making it all seem manageable can really help them reframe their mindset.
• And to end on a funny note: One of my former students asked me last week if I'd like to buy a wreath to help support the National Honor Society. Since I'm Jewish, I reminded him that I am not his target customer....

End of the year

Student quote of note: "I'm 22 in Connecticut!"

Sorry for not updating in a while. But here’s a big update: I am done with my second year of teaching! It is such a relief. In many ways it was a fantastic year, but there were also some very trying situations, especially in the last couple of weeks. The end of the school year is already quite stressful, and was made more so by some students who chose to lash out. For example, a group of anonymous honors students sent me a letter complaining that their final exam was unfair. I won’t go into details about the contents of it, but I found them to be invalid and, quite frankly, whiny. I addressed their concerns on our final day together, first explaining why I disagreed with their complaints. I then said that I had already been planning on slightly scaling the grades, as I don’t feel like what they produce in an hour and a half truly deserves to be judged as critically as what they have done all throughout the rest of the year (the final counts as 20% of their grade). I also talked about how I was very disappointed by the mistrust in the room, as I have never given them reason to believe that I would do anything to screw them over. I just felt really frustrated by this letter, especially since it was unsigned, so I didn’t even know who to be addressing. Our society has become so used to being able to say things anonymously, without fear of having to face a fair debate, and I consider it cowardly. I did give my students feedback sheets which I said they could leave anonymous, but that was meant for constructive criticism. In the case of the letter, I would have respected the students a lot more if they had come to me after school and shared their concerns, so as to allow for a productive dialogue.

On a lighter note, some students were really sweet at the end of the year. One of my honors kids said that when he gets into the National Honor Society next year (which he surely will), he wants me to be the teacher he invites. I was so touched, especially after all the frustration with some of his classmates. A senior who was in my play came to find me on his last day and gave me a little thank-you note and a big hug. He is so so talented and is planning on pursuing an acting career, and I can’t wait to see what great things he does. My senior class also gave me a very sweet card they made. One student apologized for being a pain in the ass, which he reiterated to me when I gave him a hug at graduation. Another one said she now feels more confident about writing essays for college, and a third student said that I’m one of the best teachers he’s ever had. Their words truly meant the world to me, and that card will be saved for years to come. I know I’ve talked about this before, but I’ll say it again: it’s those kinds of moments that get teachers out of bed every morning. I had my advisory write letters to teachers they wanted to thank, and a couple of the recipients told me how happy the letters made them.

Exciting news: Next year I am getting a classroom! These past two years I have had to move around between three rooms, pushing around a giant cart/battering ram and having a shared office as my home base. I’m so excited, because I’ll finally be able to set up the room the way I want it, and won’t have to worry about my things being in anyone’s way. Plus, I’m already a disorganized person to begin with, and having an office and a cart full of stuff to wheel around only adds to that. Next year there won’t be all of the running around if I forget something, or the special restrictions I have had to contend with. I will admit though, I’ll kind of miss that little cave of an office….I love being able to just shut the door and have a bit of privacy, which classrooms don’t really allow for. Plus, I’ve been lucky enough to share the space with a couple of really fantastic people. That office has seen a lot of giggles and ridiculous jokes, loud music, unwinding with a Nerf football confiscated from a student, stories of angst, tears, and growing friendships. And that final item has been one of the best aspects of this year—since I’ve become more comfortable there, I have opened up and become a lot closer to some of the people I began establishing friendships with last year, and become good friends with some new teachers as well. I love having a group of people that I can depend on, share ideas with, and also have fun with.

Below, I have included the letter I gave to my students at the end of the year in case you are interested in reading it:

Dear students,

                 Just as I have had you do some reflection on this past year, as a teacher I am constantly reflecting on my practices, asking myself, “Am I doing right by my students? How can I improve? How can I make sure they are learning, improving, and enjoying what they do? What do I want them to come away from this class understanding?” Trust me, it’s not just students that question and doubt themselves; any teacher that aspires to be good at their job does too. Being a teacher does not mean that you know all the answers. More accurately, I think we need to be both teachers and learners, and to be open to learning from our colleagues and students. With this letter, I would like to share with you some of my reflections as well as some words of encouragement as you shift into summer mode.

                I know that this year has been challenging for you. I know that I have demanded a lot from you and constantly pushed you. However, I want to remind you again that this has all been part of my effort to make you better students, both of English and of life. And it’s not just you that I demand a lot of—I demand a lot of myself too. I am deeply invested in my students and get frustrated when I feel like I am falling short of their expectations and my own. I know that it can be frustrating for students when you don’t always achieve the grades that you want. Remember though, that the only way to learn and grow is to be challenged. My goal is never to break you down and discourage you, but rather to help point out your strengths and help you understand your weaknesses and overcome them. Every year, school is going to get more and more difficult, and this is the same for life as well. However, if you meet those challenges head-on, dedicate yourselves fully to the tasks at hand, and put forth your best effort, you will be ready and able to handle what comes your way.

                Some of you have consistently worked hard all year, and I commend you for that dedication. You have pushed yourselves to improve, even when you have already been producing quality work. Some of you struggled for a while, but then worked hard to prove yourselves, showing improvement by the end of the year. I am proud of what you have accomplished. Others have experienced quite the rollercoaster ride, and your ups may have sometimes been overshadowed by your downs. I urge you to think about your successes, however big or small they may have been, and think about what you need to do in order to meet with more success next year. Don’t give up on yourselves.
                I know that once your final is over and done with, you will start allowing yourselves to forget the books we read, the characters we got to know, and the themes we analyzed. But what I hope sticks with you are some of the ideas we discussed, such as the danger of power, the power of hope, and how to challenge societal norms, and that you will continue to ponder them. I also hope you have become better thinkers and communicators this year, and that you have an increased curiosity about the world. One of the reasons I love this subject so much is that is has the ability to foster those qualities. I have been truly astounded by some of the discussions we’ve had and some of the papers I have read this year. When you truly push yourselves, you are able to exceed your own expectations and to teach yourselves, your classmates, and me all kinds of new things, and that’s what makes me excited about my job. I’ve bragged to my friends and colleagues about how you have often taken our discussions in directions that I had not expected, and how it even forced me to expand my own thinking. I hope in the future to find more ways to encourage that in my students, because those are really wonderful opportunities for growth. In turn, I ask that you please keep talking about important issues that face our world, keep asking questions, and help make the world around you a better place in some capacity. Our community and world are in serious need of leaders and good people.
                This summer, I will be doing a lot of work both on curriculum (since I’m teaching mostly new material next year) and on figuring out how I can improve as an educator. Any feedback you have about what helped you or didn’t help you (and why) would be greatly appreciated. Like I said, I want to continue learning how to be the best teacher possible. Your input is just as helpful as what my bosses tell me, and I value it greatly. I have given each of you a feedback sheet, and I’d truly appreciate it if you could give me specific feedback on it. Leave it anonymous if you choose—I want you to feel comfortable expressing yourselves.
              Please be sure to say hi next year and keep me updated on your schooling and lives (and the books you are reading!).

Yours truly,

Ms. Greene

I am worried about my grade

The wonderful Ms. M recently posted the above video on Facebook, and we've all been laughing about it and quoting it this whole week. It also makes us cringe a bit, because it is just so spot-on (right down to the detail of not having had a chance to pee all day). As it is the end of the semester right now, this is also quite timely.

I try my best to help my students, but I refuse to hold their hands, and that is what a lot of them seem to expect. I constantly get kids (often the same ones, again and again) asking me during class what their grade is. I keep having to tell them to either email me, see me after school, or even just look online where the damn things are posted, because I don't talk grades during class. It's just too disruptive. What I also don't understand is how clueless they can be about where they stand. There is no reason a student should be so shocked and angry, as some of them are, when they find out they are failing. I told them from the beginning that the people who fail my class are those who either don't do any work or don't turn in a lot of it. So I tell these kids that they're missing a lot of homework, they failed a test, did poorly on an essay, etc., and they still appear totally mystified, as though it is MY fault, that I am the one who allowed this to happen.

These students tell me that they are very concerned about their grades, and yet they are unwilling to take on the responsibility needed to improve said grades. One student has continually told me that he doesn't understand why he's doing so poorly and that he really wants to succeed, but his recent research paper pretty much sums up his shortcomings: most of his information came from Wikipedia (which I stressed--even in writing!--was NOT an option), and he didn't come for a writing conference, which I basically begged them all to come for on multiple occasions. Another student, who is quite smart but only pulling a D this term, emailed me at the beginning of the week about his grade. When I responded, he then asked if there was anything he could do to improve it before the term closed. I refrained from the temptation to suggest inventing a time machine.

Some of my students have been learning their lesson about responsibility, which is rewarding to see. They realize their mistakes, and are asking for help in a productive manner. But I am still just so frustrated about those who choose the angry response, who view me as someone standing in their way of success. I know it's not my fault, that I've tried to reach out to help them and to make them understand the ingredients for success, but that doesn't keep me from wanting to act like a teenage boy by punching a locker. In some twisted way, I still feel like I've failed a little bit. At the same time, though, I know that the answer is not to back down and let them get away with being lazy and turning in substandard work. I'm trying to prepare them for the big test of life, and babying them isn't going to help me accomplish that goal. I hate it when they hate me, but I suppose that's just part of the job sometimes.

NHS + a 2nd chance

The last couple of weeks have been crazy and rather stressful, but right now I'm just going to focus on and share with you some of the positive things that have been going on:

Two weeks ago, I attended the National Honor Society induction ceremony per an invitation from one of my absolute favorite students from last year. He came up to me about a month ago, and said, "So I was trying to think of who I'd like to invite, and the first name that popped into my head was 'Debbie G.'" (They love coming up with nicknames for me. I'm desperately trying to discourage it....) The ceremony was very nice--the kids were all spiffed up and trying not to giggle and trip, the parents looked so proud, and we teachers felt honored to be included. There are days in this profession where we feel underappreciated and worry that what we are doing is making no difference at all, so this type of thing is like a nice little affirmation that there are students whose lives we've impacted and who we have meant something to. This student was so excited to have me there, and I was beaming ear to ear. As a thank you for including me in this special occasion, I gave him a B&N gift card and a letter that was a combo of corny and slightly obnoxious (since that's how he and I talk to one another). I also had the opportunity to congratulate my other former students who were there, a number of whom gave me hugs. I'm really proud of how hard they have worked to get to this point, and I hope it's just one in a long list of great things they'll achieve in their lives.

The next topic I'd like to share is about one of my seniors. This is a kid who, for most of the year, has done almost no work and just screwed around during class. His grade for Term 1 was an very low F. I mean, you'd need scuba gear to dive down far enough to see how low it was. And he didn't turn in a paper that was assigned during Term 1, but the grade for which went on Term 2, meaning he started off this term in the hole too. But the last couple of weeks, there's been a big change. He's started doing his homework, and on the last couple has actually been writing more than most of the other students. He also turned in a short writing assignment and earned a 9 out of 10. In addition, his participation has been getting better. Yesterday, the class actually had a really great discussion about Night (they are very into this book right now). We had just read the part about Wiesel's dilemma about whether or not he and the other prisoners should fast for Yom Kippur while in the concentration camp. This student argued that he should, saying that he has already lost everything else that is important to him in his life, and that G-d is all he has left, so he shouldn't just give up on his faith. That's a pretty profound idea from a CP2 student, and quite unexpected from this particular one. He ended up being a leader in this discussion, and I was so happy to see that.

I pulled him out of class at one point for a short talk. Now, to preface this, I should say that I have some tough policies, because I firmly believe in the importance of students learning about responsibility. I don't accept big assignments after three days (and they lose 10 points for each day they are late), and I don't do extra credit, because I dislike giving students the idea that it's okay to goof off for the whole semester because they'll just get to make up for it later. And I'm certainly not one of those teachers to say, "Well, he's a senior, let's just pass him so he can graduate." So back to my student: This senior's progress report is going to say that he has an F. If I were to stick to my usual policies, it is quite likely that he would not pass and graduate this year. However, I am feeling very encouraged by his recent 180, and during our conversation he seemed very sincere about changing his ways (and this is a kid who I have almost never seen be serious or sincere about anything). I told him that I am going to make an exception for him and give him an extra credit assignment, but that in order for him to earn this opportunity, he must keep up with the rest of his work too. He agreed to this, appreciative of the second chance he is being given.

Even though I broke my rule, I feel good about this decision. It is only December, and if there was already no way for this kid to pass, I know that he would just shut down for the rest of the year, and I doubt he'd take the course over again in order to graduate. I want him to learn, and it seems that he has realized his mistakes and learned from them. He also seems to be someone with low self-esteem, as he has previously expressed that he's not good at anything and doesn't really have anything going for him. I hope that by being given this second chance, he'll understand that he has someone who believes in him, and maybe he'll start to believe in himself. So if ever there were a time to make an exception to a rule, I suppose that this is it. I hope it will prove to be the right decision.

"Help! I care about what I'm learning!"

The discussion was getting heated in my honors class today. It seemed like a straightforward lesson at first--the students had to create a list of what they think a good leader is/does and what an effective leader is/does. (This is meant to tie into our discussion of leadership in Lord of the Flies.) While I figured they'd have a good discussion with some deep thinking, they took it even further than I had anticipated. The question of morality came into play, there were questions of whether or not a good leader always has to be successful, and so on and so on.

Near the end of class, one girl finally turned to me, her hands on her head, and exclaimed, "This class is giving me an existential crisis!"

My response? "YES!" My mission had been accomplished.

Anytime a student has a strong reaction to a class discussion, be it anger, excitement, or a reassessment of beliefs, I've done my job. That reaction means that they are feeling invested in what we're learning, and that it doesn't feel like the material is a burden. Last week, another teacher told me that two of my CP1 students arrived at her class continuing the heated discussion they'd just been having in a Socratic Circle about utopias in my class. She obviously understood just how exciting it is for a teacher to know that their lesson is spilling out of their classroom, that kids are passionate enough about a topic that the passion doesn't just evaporate when the bell rings.

So even though I've been feeling rather frustrated lately, mostly due to the apathy I'm seeing with a lot of my students, these have been a couple of little signs that in some cases, I have been successful in getting kids to care. I need to keep developing more of these types of open-ended questions that students can make strong connections with, because I love how it takes their critical thinking to another level--and they don't even always realize it! Seeing them being passionate about the material reminds me why I'm passionate about my job.

motivation frustration

One thing that teachers always struggle with is how to motivate students. I've been discussing this with a few colleagues, and we all agree the apathy we see from many of our students is discouraging. We try to give them a lot of extrinsic motivation, but while it works for many students, it is lost on others. And intrinsic motivation is a whole other challenge. After all, we'd rather not just have the students learn in order to get good grades--we want them to be as passionate about these subjects as we are!

Grades for term 1 close in a couple of weeks, and I have a bunch of students failing. I told them at the beginning of the year that failing my class is a choice: people who choose to do no work or almost none will fail. Last month, I even emailed a bunch of parents of students who hadn't turned in any homework. It's frustrating when I want them to succeed more than they want to. However, as my cooperating teacher from my student teaching days told me (and this has been said by others as well), sometimes kids just have to be allowed to fail. After all, they're in high school now, and while we of course need to push them and reach out to them, we can't coddle them. They have to make their own choices and then live with the consequences.

I'm really hoping that report cards will be a wake-up call for a lot of students. And I also want to keep finding different teaching methods that will engage students more, especially the reluctant learners. Hopefully I'll be able to tap into something that appeals to them a bit more, or perhaps feels more accessible, so that they (or at least some of them) will finally start completing their work. One of the best and worst aspects of this job is that it's always changing. This keeps it exciting and intellectually stimulating, but it's also quite tough to constantly be searching for, testing out, and reevaluating new teaching methods. But whenever I find something that works, it always makes me happy. As I continue to gain experience, my bag of tricks will get a little bigger. And I'm glad I have my colleagues to learn from and occasionally commiserate with.